#im going to study with my friend today and tomorrow

[faaun]

.

[obsob]

autism 2 autism communication

[uygfiug]

i dont feel so good :(

[hella1975]

i have such a reputation that four separate people incorporated pringles into my birthday gifts. be that girl

[mistninja]

made two plans with friends this week everyone look at me im beating the depressed allegations

[dansevilpianotea]

vent in the tags

[broke-on-books]

Reading I Crawl Through It by A. S. King THIS WEEK OUT OF ALL THE WEEKS like...

Omg standardized testing? That's my next two weeks fr! (The past 2 weeks have been prep)

Random drills and alarms? We had one of those earlier today!

Bomb Threats? That reminds me of the shooting threat we had last week!

Naked guy hiding in a bush selling craft projects to teenagers? Okay actually I've got nothing there

Anyways haha I very much would love an invisible helicopter right now... 🤞(even if it would only be visible on Tuesdays)

[binniebakery]

lights off

College AU Bestfriend!Beomgyu x Gn!Reader .. not exactly fluff! kinda suggestive? ♡ Warnings: thunder? rain? ig being in the dark? my first time writing kissing .. my first time actually writing ANYTHING so it might be bad im so sorry guys ♡ A/N: this is my first little fic (if you could call it that)! i literally hate it but i think i got the point across LOLL regardless i hope someone will enjoy please lmk what you think <3 lowercase intended + not proofread ~

7:32 pm. sighing softly, you placed your phone that was softly playing your favorite tunes back down on the small table over your lap. you tapped your pencil on the table in frustration as you once again for the fifth time readjusted your legs on the bed of your best friend's bedroom. time was going by excruciatingly slow and it didnt help that this math problem was taking you a million years to solve. the sun had already set outside and heading back to your dorm seemed less favorable by the minute. hearing a soft shuffle from the other side of the room you looked up at your best friend. rain began to patter outside. looks like you'll be staying for longer than you intended. beomgyu, who had his deep-colored headphones on was moving his head to the music as he wrote down notes from his study guide. his hair softly wrapped around his features most attractively. you began to mentally trace the lines of his nose, his eyes… his lips.. the dim lighting of the room adding more charm to his aura. "y/n..? are you okay? i could feel you burning holes into my head." beomgyu said as he shook off his headphones to fully put his attention was on you. snapped out of your daze, you mentally kicked yourself as you felt embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. how long had you been staring at him for..? "sorry gyu. if i was staring i didnt mean to" you softly laughed, trying to seem nonchalant and cool about the situation. beomgyu, seeing your embarrassment, chuckled at your reaction. "youre okay, i know you look at me because im cute" he grinned and you rolled your eyes. "oh shut up! you know i was daydreaming. i cant focus on this assignment anyways, its too hard. i think im gonna just finish it tomorrow." you smiled as you threw a pillow at him. he was always cheeky when he had the opportunity. anything to see you react. "daydreaming? so you do think im cute?" he grinned wider after recovering from your pillow attack. you huffed and placed the table that was on your lap onto the ground. "you know youre so-.. ugh and what if i do think you're cute?! what would you even do about it, huh?" you retaliated as you sat on the edge of his bed, now fully facing him. you faked a pout as you were feeling a bit bolder than usual today. your homework giving you enough pent-up rage to have the energy to give in to his bickering.

"okay well i dont know how much truth there is to that but if you really meant that id probably kiss you." your eyes widened at his response. you see beomgyu's face turn into an unreadable expression. he hadnt realized you were only half joking and fully meant the compliment, but it was too late and by the time he caught wind that you were actually flustered he felt his stomach flip. even he was shocked by his own words. he slipped. had he said too much? after a few seconds of silence that felt like minutes. the rain outside seemed to get louder. his eyes finally met yours and you looked away. you felt your heart pounding at the thought of you saying too much. both of you overthinking the situation and awkwardness that you both never have had before taking place. you and beomgyu have never had an awkward moment like this. normally you both laugh things off but this time felt different. "you trust me right?" his voice sounded sincere. this tone was rare for you to hear from him but you knew immediately he was being genuine with his question. "h- huh? yeah of course.. why?" you responded. "okay well.." you noticed beomgyu was now fiddling with his headphones, it seemed like he was turning all the gears in his head to get out what he wanted to say. "y/n.. theres a chance you may have not been telling the truth but if you were- look regardless if you meant it, i meant what i said." you could feel your stomach turning. he hardly flirted with you but when he did it always felt different from his usual teasing. you never said anything though, in fear of ruining your friendship. yet you always thought about what it would be like if he also returned the feelings you felt.

the room's atmosphere seemed to change. suddenly you were both hyper-aware of his neon led light being the only source of light aside from his computer. your playlist had stopped and the silence felt unbearable. in one swift move, he stood up, and turned off the led light on his wall.

the room was a lot darker now, his computer screen's light being the only way of telling you what he was going to do next. you watched as he plopped down next to you. he was so close that you could see the slight tinge of pink on his ears. your senses began to be filled with the light scent of his cologne. "i.. look- the only way i can say or do this is if the lights are off- im not trying to be weird its just you make me so nervous.. i cant look at you." he mumbled as he looked at your hands resting on your lap. it was so dark and both your hearts were racing. "gyu.. " was all you could muster with his hands now softly on yours.

"can i…" beomgyu began as he leaned in closer, only centimeters away from your face. his eyes staring intently into yours. he had this look of pure admiration, nervousness and love. it was all too surreal. realizing what he was asking, you silently nodded as you stared at his lips. he pressed his forehead on yours, the thick tension in the air causing your body to tingle in anticipation. as you felt his hair softly tickle your features from him leaning in, your lips connected. he kissed you oh so softly as he held your cheek gently. your hands, as if moving on their own, were softly placed on his arms. his lips softly moving along your own. he was patient. it felt as if he was waiting for you to respond, unsure if what he was doing was okay with you. you moved your head to the side slightly to deepen the kiss, causing him to sigh. it was all he needed to know you felt the same. his hands moved to your waist as you settled your fingers into his long hair. softly pushing him towards you to intensify the kiss. all that could be heard was the rain outside aside from the soft exchange of sighs and hands roaming. "ive liked you for so long.. you have no idea.." he began between kisses. it was all passionate, slow, and tender as if he was handling you like glass. his hands pulled your waist impossibly closer to his. he separated first, leaving you craving for more. "trust me, i liked you so much i was so scared you didnt feel the same way despite you teasing me the way you did." you chuckled as you pecked his cheek. "you drive me insane.." he softly spoke. "y/n, every time i tried to say something.. my brain just went to mush.. its so bad i swear. i could only be this confident with the lights off.." beomgyu laughed as his eyes began to trail your facial features. he was admiring every curve and feature, and at that point, both your faces were impossibly red. "gyu.. can you just.. kiss me again..?" your voice came out hardly a whisper. "i like you so much i feel like im going insane from the way you just confessed." he smiled fondly at your words and nodded, leaning in once again. as soon as your lips touched you could both practically feel the electricity pouring through your bodies. as if on cue, thunder struck the moment you connected again. your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him, slightly tugging and playing with his hair. his arms remained at your waist, slightly circling over the shirt you wore. you could feel the warmth of his fingers through the fabric.

his tongue slightly swiped along your lips for permission, and you parted your lips in response. having his tongue explore your mouth had your brain going numb. time felt like it had stopped, with just the rain as your only witness to the quiet whispers and confessions that only you two could hear. when you both finally were running out of breath, you separated with beomgyu looking into your eyes. you stared back, lips equally as glossy as his. "are you.. going back to your dorm yet?" thunder struck once again, as if responding to his question. you smiled. "its raining a little too hard dont you think?" beomgyu chuckled, realizing how silly his question was. "yeah. youre right, i think you should stay." you bit your lip as you pulled off each other, both of you immediately missing the warmth. beomgyu shook his head fixing his now fluffed hair thanks to you as he ran his fingers through. he then stood up to turn the led light he had turned off previously back on. "so.. how about we watch a movie?" he spoke as the light clicked. you could almost burst into laughter from the question given the events that just happened a minute prior. give it to choi beomgyu, your best friend, to turn a situation less awkward by simply being his charismatic self. the personality you fell for since day one of knowing him.

"sure gyu, but.." you trailed off, shy about what you were about to say next. honestly, could this get any more awkward? "yeah?" he turned to you and tilted his head in that attractive way he does. "leave the lights off." you looked at him with a shy smile. he flushed at your words. and for the last time again, lightning struck. "yeah.. lights off" he replied, led light clicking once again.

[shimaa20sblog]

Dear Friends ♥️🤍🖤💚

I write to you today with a heavy heart, from the suffering land of Gaza. The war that has invaded our lives has taken everything from me: my home, my stability, and even some of my loved ones. Our streets are empty, our homes are in ruins, and our dreams have vanished under the weight of the shells.

I cannot fully describe what we experience daily, but I feel as if I am writing from a heart in pain. Our children miss the safety, and our women carry burdens that never end. There is no water, no electricity, and no hope for a better tomorrow. With each passing moment, we live in an endless nightmare, our hearts shattered by loss and separation.

I need your help, for I have no hope but in your hearts. I ask you to extend a hand of support to me and my family, so we can overcome this ordeal. Every donation, no matter how small, could be a glimmer of hope in our dark lives.

Your solidarity can change our fate and restore some hope to us. I appeal to your humanity and brotherhood, for together we can face these challenges. Thank you from the depths of my heart for your support and solidarity.

With all my love💙🖤,

GoFundMe link

https://gofund.me/9d755b33

@halalgirlmeg @im-smart-i-swear @wellwaterhysteria @bartholomew-junior @thecoffeedesk @dogbound1128 @stupid-dumb-bitch ... I need your help to ensure my message reaches as many people as possible. The war in Gaza has destroyed my life and dreams, and I believe there are those who can help me rebuild what I've lost. If you could share my story or support it, I would be very grateful. I want to be a voice for those who have none, and I need support and donations to achieve my dreams and return to my studies. Together, we can change reality and restore hope to those in need.

[echantedtoon]

Good evening Grande Starbucks Frappe!! ✨✨

This is oddly specific so feel free to not take all the details into account and creative freedom and all that but perhaps Genya x Reader where Sanemi terrified our ass at the beginning of the year and now reader is scared of both Shinazugawa brothers despite Genya harbouring a crush? Just thought it'd be funny to see him despairing and demanding why Sanemi had to ruin his chances so badly-

ANYWAYS CONGRATS AGAIN ON YOUR 500 IM SORRY IT'S SO SPECIFIC HAVE A NICE NIGHT

Firstly THANK YOU IM SO HAPPY! 😭 Secondly sure. @six-eyed-samurai

This is written as a female s/o since it's easier for me to write I hope that's ok. For this Genya and reader are both 18 in their senior year so slightly aged up Genya and Co.

-You were the newest student in Kimetsu Academy, just transferred over from another school when your parents moved you closer to your father's workplace. You weren't too nervous. Some of your friends went to the school so it's not like you wouldn't go in not knowing anyone. However your first day was anything but a good start.

-First you were really late because your mom's car got a flat tire on the way to driving you there. Then you dropped your coin purse containing your lunch money outside while you were rushing into the school. A teacher happened to have noticed that you dropped it but you didn't hear him calling out to you. Then you got laughed at when you busted into the chemistry class (which was the first class you had) and got both laughed at by a lot of the other students and chewed out by Professor Obanai for being late to his class. Then when lunch came around you had to sit down and go hungry except for some spare things given by your friends because you didn't have money or brought your own lunch. Just when you think it couldn't get any worse too-

-Sanemi, the scariest teacher in the entire School even more than Professor Obanai, had just roughly pushed the door to the cafeteria open and his narrowed eyes scanning the area until they lasered focused on you. "HEY YOU!" The entire place silences immediately terrified at the sounds of the scary man's voice. "NEW GIRL!!" You feel yourself freeze up on the spot as the heavily scarred man comes marching up towards you looming over your terrified form before a cute teddy bear themed coin purse is roughly pushed into your shaking hands. "I've been trying to fucking track you down all day! Don't forget your purse outside again!"

-Its cannon in Kimetsu Gauken that Sanemi likes kids and respects women but most are scared by his appearance and honestly sometimes he comes off as scary without meaning too. Sanemi honestly wasn't trying to scare you, he was genuinely just trying to return your purse to you but he wasn't socially aware enough to realize that calling out a trembling girl in the middle of everyone and looming over her scared you so much that you became very scared of your new math teacher.

-It was around the second week you were there that you learnt one of your fellow students was the younger brother of the scary teacher. From the first day forward whenever you had math class you kept your head down and very quiet to avoid him singling you out but today was study day before a big test so everyone was partnered up. "Kanao get with Inosuke! Kamado's with the blonde kid!  New girl go get with my brother! All of you take turns asking questions with these flashcards! All of this will be on the test tomorrow so PAY THE HELL ATTENTION AND STUDY!"

-Your pupils shrank in fear and a rock fell in your stomach. Brother? Mr. Sanemi had a BROTHER?! As soon as Genya sat down in front of you holding the flashcards for your shared study session, you knew without a doubt they were related. Their faces were similar shaped especially their eyes, and like a brother he also had scars on his body although a lot less than Sanemi did. As soon as Genya saw your big doe eyes all shiny and pretty looking up at him, the baby boy was smitten.

-He's had crushes before. He's had fleeting crushes on both his friends Aoi and Kanao before they gotten into relationships with his other guy friends and when he was younger he always thought Ms. Kanao was the prettiest girl ever, but after seeing you he gained the biggest crush in his life that it felt like Cupid smashed his head with a mallet of love.

-It then started a cycle between you two. He started to try and approach you. "Hey! New girl!" You freaked out by the sudden repeating appearance from him. It was bad enough the teacher seemed to be annoyed with you but did his brother have to harass you too?! You kept running away from him or had your friends block his way to you until he left or you escaped. He was hurt you seemed to be so scared of him and for the longest time didn't have the foggiest idea why. He tried getting Tanjiro's help in convincing you to hang out with him in a group setting to see if maybe he could ease your worries by having other people around but you always asked if Genya would be there and Tanjiro...Well he's an awful liar so even if he said no you knew otherwise and declined. 

-Then one day while reading it hits him. Your very first day the week prior to meeting Genya. Sanemi returned your purse and you seemed terrified of him. I'm turn it must've made you genuinely afraid of him as well. That day when Genya gets home he literally kicks down the doorway startling his mother, Sanemi, and their younger siblings with his anger. "SANEMI WHAT THE FUCK?!"

[woniefication]

☕︎༯𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 ☕︎༯

Chapter 1:First day

———————————————————

𝑮enre: Smau,written AU,Fluff (please read the written part )

Pairing: Yang Jungwonxfem!reader

Warnings: Cursing, one kys joke

Synopsis: Y/N a photography student at Montclairé university has to work a job at a small coffee restaurant where she meets a very shy boy named Jungwon who happens to go to the same University studying culinary. A story that stirs and mixes in a coffee pot full of suprises.

As soon as you entered the cafe the smell of freshly brewed coffee and matcha filled your nostrils. Out of nowhere a Tall man who appeared to be in his early twenties appeared with a name tag on his apron that read "Jungwon". Not giving you a chance to speak he started talking.

"I'm guessing youre Y/N right?" said the man.

"Yeah thats right,are you the person who the manager told me about?" You tried saying in a nonchalant voice trying to mask your nervousness.

"I think so, heres your name tag." Jungwon handed you the small beige colored piece of paper with a safety pin attached to it. Right next to you was a table that was a bit dirty so he started wiping the surface.

You couldnt help but notice his sharp features and the way he looked very uninterested. You could've sworn you've seen this man somewhere before.

"D-do I know you from somewhere? You look oddly familiar." You stated while slightly shrugging your eyebrows.

"Depends are you going to stalk me?" He worded jokingly while chuckling.

"You might know me from University I go to Montclaire and study culinary." Jungwon stated.

You let out a gasp. "Oh so thats where I know you from I knew it! Culinary? Thats so cool! I go to Montclaire too im majoring in photography!"

"Photography? What are you doing working at a cafe then? Are you going to take pictures of lattes for us?" He replied finally looking up from the counter giving you a weird look.

"Well, I need to pay my tuition somehow and lets not forget rent. You stated.

"Oh yeah thats right sorry dumb question." The boy admitted sheepishly.

Slowly the conversation died down and Jungwon started showing you around, telling you how all the equipment worked.Keeping a professional tone and maintaning a respectable distance.

The sun setting down casted a cozy atmosphere over the cafe. The last sunrays shining through the wide windows. The chatting of the customers dying down.

The sound of the bell whenever somebody came through the door stopping. Thats how you knew your shift was over.

"Thank you for showing me around I appreciate it."

Your voice said to Jungwon before heading out of the door. Jungwon was in charge of closing the Café that meant he stayed longer than his shift was intended for.

The walk home was very comforting considering the fact that you were under stress not even a couple hours ago.

The second you took your phone out of your pocket you saw it light up with notifications from none other than your friends.

You've had enough for today. You'll respond to them tomorrow.

Previous. Masterlist. Next.

Taglist: @jiiyen @yuriknows @firstclassjaylee (to be added comment or ask)

[elis-blawg222]

November 8 - Friday

Whew! Caught up at last!! (took me long enough)

Today was actually pretty good. I called Angel before school which made me really happy!! (I love him sm ill sob rn actually). My class wasn't toooo bad. The teacher talked sooo much ugh, but I drew the whole time so it was fine. I made my oc thinnn n pretty, love him. Also we had to go around the room and talk to people for like 30 minutes. 30. (did yk you have 30 minutes??)

It was so nerve wracking, especially because I was unprepared lol. I bet I looked like such a total weirdo with the lack of eye contact I was making, but at the time I was just trying not to break a nervous sweat LMAO.

Then, after my class I went to the library (on call w/Ange) and did an assignment. I went home afterwards because my phone was gonna die, and I needed my charger.

After a bit at home, I went to my next class, and I had a test in this one. It went good I think! We studied beforehand which I'm really grateful for.

We had a break in this class, so I went to walk around for a minute, and during this my mom texted me with:

"Eli

What did u eat today"

...

nothing. So, I said "I had some chicken nuggetss after my class hehe"

to which she responded "No fries no pop. How many nuggets"

GURL. So i was like "I did get some fries lol? and i got 10 why?"

and she just CONVENIENTLY NEVER RESPONDED. UGH.

(but wait theres more.)

After my class ended I went home and got ready for work. I was otp w/Angel (because seriously when am I not?) and he was playing minecraft. It was so peaceful and entertaining to watch and listen to him play- I loved every bit of it. Then, we talked about how we should play together (I ltrly will do anything to idc).

Work was actually ehh, not toooo bad. My dad and friend and her mom stopped by which was nice, and also my hairdresser LOL. They both tipped really well (obviously my dad did but yk).

I went home after what felt like one billion years, I was so so so happy. When I got home I just said a few things about my day like I usually do, and made sure to slip in the fact that I got a free meal at work. Which isn't wrong, I did, but I didn't get anything. I actually am just gonna let my friend get something tomorrow. but they don't have to know all that shhhhhhhh.

Then my mom stopped in front of me and was like what did you eat? and so i repeated myself bc no one listens to me <3

(I told her fried chicken tenders, fries, mac and cheese for context, a very 'me' meal tbh or at least it was)

Then, she was like "how many chicken tenders?" "no drink?" "did you finish it? all of it?" "so then you ate 2 full meals today?"

oh. my god. like. genuinely.

why. is. she. interrogating. me. pls. fucking. leave. me. alone. IM GENUINELY MORTIFIED AND HONESTLY IM SO AGGRIVATED. LET ME STARVE IN PEACE HOLY FUCK.

I tried to act like a normal person and be like ??? why are you interrogating me? BC WHY ARE YOU (as if I'm not literally starving myself)

She was just like "because I need to make sure you're getting nutrients." ok girl.

Then, I went to my room and she went to bed. I cleaned my room a bit and did a homework assignment, so I'm pretty proud of myself.

Also if you couldn't tell by now I fasted today. I was gonna either 48 hr fast or do 2 24 hr fasts back to back, but I think I'm just gonna do around 36 hrs. I wanna eat in front of my mom tomorrow so maybe she'll start leaving me alone (I seriously doubt it).

It just gets really frustrating when every meal I have she thinks isn't enough, even when I'm genuinely full. I can't eat like I used to like I physically cannot, she has to get that.

Anywho, I was thinking of making some cucumber boats tomorrow, I think it'll be fun.

Total Steps: 6.7k

Look at me meeting my step goal for once. I'm gonna start really making an effort at meeting it!

'Til tomorrow :)

(P.S. actually getting activity on these makes me so nervous but haiii)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for asking my mum to clean out the kitty litter trays even though its usually my chore

i drove to doctors and work this morning, i worked 8.30 till 5 she worked 8.30 til 4 and drove home after her shift ended to pick up my dance clothes for me (i only didnt have them because i had to stay late at work since 3 people went home sick).

my friend cancelled on me for dance tryouts so i spend the afternoon crying and eventually choose to go anyway because i was excited for hiphop but by this point my head is pounding.

i get out of work, she drives me to dance and goes to get macdonalds while she waits for me to get out. halfway through dance they mention we are not even doing hiphop today not until next week (u have to pay for the tryouts btw)

i get out 7.40ish. on the drive home im thinking "fuck its almost 8 i havent done any uni study, (i have 2 lectures, a quiz and like 8 readings that need to be done today and tomorrow), i havent spent any time with our cats or cleaned their litter trays yet."

for reference we have new cats and are introducing them into a house with a dog so rn we have them in one room and let them out occassionally while putting the dog out back, while i clean out the litter trays and top them up every day, once a week we empty them completely and clean them out

so we get home and i say "would it be too much to ask if you could please do the litter trays tonight" i try to explain that i have a headache and ive still got a lot of uni homework to do and i havent spent any time with the cats so i'd play with them for a bit while she cleans the trays and then do my homework

immeadiately she starts yelling at me that shes tired, she hasnt been home from work all day, she did it last time, shes done so many favours for me already today and blah blah blah.

the way i see it, first, i clean the kitty litter trays every day and vacuum their room. she has literally never done this, she emptied out and washed a tray last week because i was sick and got home from work and passed out. i (a learner btw so im very stressed when i drive) drove us to her appt and then to work, i worked more hours than her today, i danced all night with a headache, i also have not been home all day, after being cancelled on and then them not even doing the type of dance i wanted to do and i still have to do uni work tonight so i dont think im the selfish one here.

but sitting in my cats room while they eat their dinner i can hear her storm about and slam doors because shes so mad at me but i dont understand am i in the wrong here?

also literally as i am writing this she comes out and goes "tell me when youve finished dinner so i can let the cats out. and DONT leave it too late" while my food is literally cooking as we fucking speak jfc.

i have a bit of a diary where i write when mum is mad at me because if i mention to her that she upset me it never goes well so i write it down to safely let those feelings out and as i was writing this one i just needed some clarity i really cant fathom any reason for her to be mad except egocentrism so perhaps an unbias outsider can shed light?

What are these acronyms?

[winryrockbellwannabe]

summer break diaries: 01-11/august

finally getting used to the fact that i'm really on summer break lol, like, wdym i don't have to study for anything rn?? but still trying to keep myself busy, and not just rot in front of the tv all day ahaha but it did take me a while to adjust, hence why the weeks without posting, but i'll try to be more active again now that im trying to be more productive

I've been focusing on:

creating a new morning routine

going on (mental health) walks everyday

slowly fighting my reading slump - hopefully today/tomorrow I'll finish Babel, im super excited

practicing piano and the violin

catching up with some friends that i didn't see during the semester

it has been really fun so far, it's the first time in a while I'm feeling fully rested and relaxed and I hope I'll feel like this during my entire summer break :)) see you guys soon, i guess

[robinismywifee]

lust, not hatred || e. williams

pairings dealer!ellie williams x fem!oc/reader

summary ellie and aime never got along, but ellies best friend, dina, is aimes roomate so they have to be around each other alot. blah blah blah, ellie makes aime go to a party with her, lets just say ellie gets jealous (1st p.o.v)

warnings NSFW, fingering (r. receiving), cunnilingus (r. receiving), pet names (princess, brat, slut, good girl), kinda kinky ellie (spanking, she thinks reader belongs to her????), drinking, smoking weed

a/n part 2 is up!

wordcount 4.2k

i unbuttoned my jeans, slipping out of them, i could already feel her burning gaze on my neck.

i pulled of my shirt too, throwing the clothes into my laundry basket, i turned to my closet, it had a mirror on it and i could see ellie on dinas bed, sititng with her legs spred out not even hiding her stares

i looked at her through the mirror shaking my head, "what are you even doing here? dinas not gonna be back until like midnight" i scoffed, as i opened the closet and grabbed shorts, slipping into them but still in my bra

"are you deaf? i already told you" she said, annoyed by me being annoyed, or maybe just my presence, "yeah, well im gonna be here when she gets back why don't i just have her text you?" i wanted my room to myself, dina was at a party, i had classes early and although it seemed tempting, dancing like nobody else is in the room with dina while my eyes are red from the weed, i could do it literally any other day

"youre gonna pass out as soon as your fat ass hits the bed" she said, making me roll my eyes even though she couldnt see them as my back faced her, "okay then just- come back at like 2am to see her alive and well" i shrugged, getting on my tippy toes to pull out a white tanktop from the top of my closet

i unclipped my bra, letting the cold air fill my breasts, i tossed the bra into the basket, slipping on my tanktop.. if i was in my room, i dont care whos in it, im changing, i mean, i face the other direction if im going completely nude like how i just did so ellie couldnt see my tits, only my bare back, but in plain bra and underwear, who cares, its just as if i was wearing a bikini

i turned around, noticing the tanktop was much tighter and lowcut then i had thought, but once again it didnt really matter, its just ellie, as much as i hated her im comfortable around her, i know shes not gonna try anything weird like that

"can you honestly just shut the fuck up and go to sleep? my roomate blasts terrible music while she studies and she has a test tomorrow theres no way im going back in there" she complained

"dude, i dont care, its my room, not yours" i folded my arms, "its dinas room too and she said i could be in here anytime i wanted, and why do you want me to leave so fucking much? i always crash" ellie questioned, "i- i jus- i- it doesnt fucking matter! just-" i stuttered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.. usually i don't care if she stays over, i just block her out and ignore her even being there, but i was really horny today and planned tonight out already.

"what? was some guy supposed to come over or some shit?" ellie asked, suddenly feeling interested, "no! just-" i sighed, trying to come up with a lie but settled on changing the topic, "if you're gonna be here, do me a favor and shut up"

"nah, i wanna know, what were your wednesday night plans princess?" her voice raised a pitch, she leaned forward as i stood a few feet infront of her, "why do you care so much?" i scoffed, "and why arent you at the party?" i added, trying to change the topic

"you know how it is going to a party with dina and jesse, im just gonna be alone the whole time with people trampling asking for weed" she shrugged, "dont you want people asking?" i asked, referring to the business side, "yeah but i dont need to go to parties every fucking day"

"whatever" i mumbled, falling to my bed, i pulled out my phone and was about to go to tiktok when she spoke up again, "you never answered my question"

"if i tell you will you go the party?" i asked raising my head, "uh.. fuck" she whispered, "fine" she said which suprised me enough to sit up and ditch my phone, "only cause i was already thinking of going" she added, "yea right" i mumbled, "so? you gonna tell me or just sit there?"

"i was just- just.." i scratched my neck preparing for her future comments, "i told jason he could come over specifically because i had the dorm to myself- and dont start williams because ive been talking with him for like a month now, and i know you do it all the time with cat" she laughed

"i dont" she said with a smirk, "shut the fuck up, yes you do" she stood up, "not with cat, that was like a 1 time thing" she said casually, walking over to grab her shoes, "yeah all your things are a one time thing" i grumbled, basically implying she was a whore, she stopped her tracks, and walked to the edge of my bed infront of me, "get up" she said in a stern voice,  i shook my head, she didnt like that answer, she pulled my wrist and shoved me to my closet, "get dressed" she ordered

"get dressed? fuck off im not going anywhere" i said in disbelief, "youre coming with me, now get fucking dressed" she said, looking down at me, "says who? im not going with you, leave me alone!" who does she think she is?

ellie took a step closer, she didnt even say anything, just gave me that look that made me tense up, "holy fucking shit, fine" i let out my breath, and untensed as she smirked, proud of her abilities, "but only if you give me free weed" i added, "whatever, just hurry up"

"hurry up? i just took off all my makeup let me do  like basic makeup first" i said, moving to my vanity, she sighed, "i swear to god"

"you're the one whos making me go, just sit on your ass and watch south park of something" i said, getting out my makeup, "oh, can you actually put that on?" she asked, i didnt reply, but complied by taking my remote off my desk and tossing its at her, my tv was facing my bed only so she had to move from dinas bed to mine, i watched through my mirror her getting comfy under my blankets with my squishmellow bat, i didnt realize until i looked back to myself that i was smiling, i instantly dropped it, shook my head at myself feeling disgusted, and started my makeup as southpark filled the room.

"jesus, took you long enough" ellie mumbled as i got out of my chair, "it took one episode of south park, thats not even long dumbass" i shot back, picking up the remote from her lap and turning it off, "help me pick an outfit" i ordered, opening my closet

"you dont need to dress up its not a special party, just put on jeans" she said, i was slightly leaned over searching for clothes when once again i could feel her eyes on the back of me, i turned around and saw that her eyes werent up on my back, but lower, "stop being a perv" i said as she looked back up to me, still laying in bed snuggled with the blankets, "not my fault you were bent over in booty shorts"

i shook my head, "okay well im not wearing jeans cause its hot" i said outloud, "so which skirt?" i moved over showing her the ray of skirts "whichever one shows more skin" i turned to her squinted my eyes and turned back around trying to make a decision as she was no help

"i think maybe just a plain black one, right? oh how bout these?" i pulled out, turning around holding a skirt to my waist

"mm, yea that looks short, do that" she agreed, for different reason, i sighed, "whatever. fix my bed and get your shoes on" i pointed, as i changed into the skirt

she stayed silent, doing what i asked, fixing my bed to how it was before, i had already put on my shoes and waited for ellie to do so, once she did, she stood up and went to her bag, she shuffled around a bit before pulling a bottle of my favorite vodka with a smirk

my mouth was ajar, "what! can i- can i please have some?" i asked with a head tilt, i rarely had this vodka, it was super expensive.

"yeah dummy thats why i bought it" she said, sitting back down on the edge of my bed, i bit my lip to hide my smile, but it didnt work as i smiled too big, i walked over to her sitting right next to her, i was too excited to notice i had sat so close that our theighs were touching

"w- why do you have this? dont you usually get fireball whisky?" i said, looking down at the belvedere bottle, a laugh escaped her lips, "yeah, they didnt have any at the store so i thought i'd get your vodka- why are you so amazed by it?" she smiled looking down at me

"couldnt you just gotten some other whiskey? i mean you got MY vodka? this is-" i let out a sigh, "can we take shots already?" i asked looking up to her, she laughed, "yeah, here you can have the first shot" she passed it over to me, i shook my hands excited before taking the bottle, opening it with a pop noise, i unscrewed the cap and smiled more, "cant we do it at the same time? here" i handed her the bottle, it felt weird taking shots alone, i went to my shelf and took off two shot glasses, i bit my lip as i handed her them, taking the vodka back and poured us the glasses, setting the bottle on my bedside table

"okay ready?" i smiled, she laughed as she nodded, "3, 2, 1" i said, and at the same time we brought our lips to the cup and tilted our heads back, downing the clear liquid

i giggled, as we both set our glasses down, "oh my god! im so happy right now i could kiss you" i smiled, we both looked at eachother for a moment, too long of a moment, i felt something in my stomach, but i cleared my throught, and began pouring more liquid, blaming the feeling on the drink.

we ended up taking a bit more shots then intended, but here we were, arrived at the party

we walked in together, shoulder to shoulder, the guy who owns the house, ky, threw a lot of parties, he was a senior, ive been to so many parties here that i knew the layout of his big house

a song i didn't recognize played, but that didnt stop me from feeling in the mood to dance, me and ellie were definitely different drunks, i dont know what was going through her mind when she was drunk, but for me, right now at least, all i wanted to do was dance and enjoy the music

"ellie, ellie, ellie!" i shook her arm, she hummed a reasponse, we has made it to the kitchen and she began to pour us cheap vodka into red cups, normally she would drink beer but i guess she wanted to get drunk tonight like how i did

"can we, pleaseeee, please, please, dance?" i pressed my hands together as if i was praying, "shit, please beg more" ellie licked her lips, sipping her drink, "oh my god! just- lets go, and i bet dina and jesse are dancing we'll probably find them" i said, pulling ellie by her wrist into the 'dance floor'

as i dragged her, big poppa by biggie played, "yes! i love this song" i pulled her close to me as we joined the people dancing, "i really dont want to dance aime" ellie said with a stern face, "oh come on! you never dance, it'll be fun, just pretend like im the only one in the room, trust me, oh and literally everyone around us will not remember anything in the morning so it doesnt even matter" i explained to her, she seemed nervous, but nodded

people gave us weird looks, usually we would be on different sides of the room, we never were seen together alone, so us not only being alone together, but with smiled and dancing?

i moved my hips to the beat, my hands on ellies shoulders her hands on my waist, my front grinding against hers as i sang the song, she seemed to loosen a bit, her eyes connected to my body

i saw a smirk form on the corner of ellies mouth, and before i knew it, her hands were pressed against my ass, normally i would scoff and hit her arm away, but i had no thoughts at the current moment, so i only moved my hips more, i then turned around so my ass was to her front and her hands were now to my hips, i bent over a bit, arching my back, letting my ass bounce, ellies hands kept a firm grip as she also grinded to me, it was for fun and innonce at first, but it started to feel too good, and i never got that fun time so i only wanted more.

we took a break to drink more, then went back to dancing, after a few songs, a hand gripped my hair, pulling my head up a bit, ellie leant forward and whispered- well yelled over the music- to my ear, "wanna get that free weed now?" i smiled, not realizing the reason she decided to ask was because jason was making his way to us, "fuck yeah!" i exclaimed

now we sat in an empty bedroom with a locked door for anyone who decided to bardge in, "alright princess" ellie sighed, practically stumbling over to me, she pulled out a tin that was in her pocket, pulling out a joint and lighter, i sat on the edge of the bed hands in my lap

i watched her every move, she raised the joint slightly to my mouth, but i was focused on her slim fingers, "open" she said in a low voice, i felt my cheeks go red at her voice and how vulnerable i felt, but i obeyed, opening my mouth slightly, she slipped the joint, i closed my lips around it, she brought the lighter to the end, lighting it for me, the whole time we stared into each others eyes, a thick unknown tension between us lingered

i took a hit and began smoking all while holding eye contact. we passed it and took deep hits till our world felt calm and the music from below us seemed to disappear, infact everything around us seemed to disappear, it felt like it was only us on the whole planet.

ellie took the last hit, before placing the remainder of the joint in an nearby ashtray. she went back to her previous spot, right infront of me, standing and looking down, my neck hurt from looking up at her, but i couldnt take my eyes away, something about how her freckles danced in the dim lighting, or how her messy hair framed her face, how her redden eyes glared at me with an emotion i didnt recognize.

ellie brought her hand to my jaw, her thumb rubbing my cheek, "you were really causing a scene out there princess" her voice seemed to go down a few notches, and it made my mouth agape at the nickname she had been calling me for years for some reason made my face feel hot

"how you were.. grinding onto me in your short skirt.. your tight top.. shit, i can see everything through that, didnt even bother to put on a bra, like the little slut you are" she mumbled, eyes scanning my clothed breasts and theighs, i couldnt help but squeeze my theighs together more, "hm, think i didnt see that?" her free hand went to my theigh, rubbing circles to it, ellie must of noticed my eyes trailed to her hand cause she used the one that was on my face to pull my face back up, "whats the matter? cat got your tongue?" she asked with a head tilt, that made me gulp and shrunk into my seat, trying to push words out, but the no reply caused her to smirk

"i mean.. you know what they say.." she moved her thumb that was on my cheek to my lip, pulling it down slightly, "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" my face felt on fire as i felt her thumb sink into my mouth, my eyebrows furred, looking up to her, as her thumb was in my mouth, "shit, i wonder what else that mouth can do" she whispered to herself, but i obviously heard, i felt like i could collapse, my hand that was on the bed moved to her hand that was on my theigh, i opened my legs a little bit wider, pushing her hand down

i watched as she pulled her thumb out, keeping her hand on my theigh, she slipped out of her shoes, and pulled mine off. next thing i know her hands were on my face and she had her tongue shoved deep into my throat, my head pressed into the pillow as she was ontop of me, the sudden contact made me moan.

she moved her hands on my waist and pulled me closer to her front, i moaned into it, my hand found its way to her hair, i pulled at it, i didnt expect anything, but i heard her let out a breathy moan into my mouth, i pulled away, my ears blessed, i felt a puddle in my underwear, "please ellie"

she looked at me with the same eyes she had the whole night, the same eyes shes been giving me ever since we met. and i finally recognized what the emotion was. lust. pure, lust.

"please ellie, i need you" i whinned, i grabbed her hand and shoved it up my skirt, her fingertips dancing against my clothed slit was enough to make me whine, "please" i breathed, ellies face was red, "fuck" she gulped, and leaned back in to kiss my lips, her hand resting on my inner theigh, she trailed her lips to my neck, i turned my head to give her more access, my back arched as she kissed the right spot and pressed her hand under my shirt to my unclothed boob, and slightly bit my skin "please, ellie, i cant wait any longer, i need you" i rolled my head back

"be patient princess" she said in a seductive voice, which only made me less patient, she pulled away, hands now at the hem of my shirt, i sat up lfiting my arms helping her pull it off of me, "shit" ellie breathed, her eyebrows were furred, hair messy, cheeks red, lips plump, she looked so beautiful, so fucking hot.

after she stared at me, she pulled in and began kissing my chest, leaving a trail of love bites, she got to the hem of my skirt, pulling it off my legs, she pressed soft kisses until she got to my clothed clit, "fuck.. ellie i need you, please, ill do anything, please" i whinned, my hand gripped to her hair, "i know baby, ill make you feel good" ellie spoke as she pulled off my underwear with eye contact

i felt really vulnerable, i was completely naked underneath her as she straddled me completely clothed, and normally i topped, but there is no way i would be able to top ellie so i let it happen

ellie moved lower and lower till her lips pressed softly to my clit, i was so sensitive that i couldnt help but squirm my hips up, ellie forcefully pushed my theighs down and held them there, "stay fucking still brat" she said harshly, i narrowed my eyes down to look at her cold gaze, a smirk formed her face before she dove back in

she decided to tease me, kissing my inner theigh, "ellie c'mon" i whispered, trying to not move my hips, she ignored me and continued to press soft kissed to my theighs, her hands wrapped around my legs holding me still

ellies eyes were closed as she kissed me, i took that as an opportunity to sneak my hand to my private, gliding my fingers to my slit, but before i could really do anything, ellies hand gripped my wrist and slammed my hand against the bed, her grip tightened as she stared coldly at me, "touch yourself or move one more time, and im leaving" she said, her voice stern, i let out a breath feeling intimidated under her gaze, giving her a shakey nod

her face softed as she saw my reaction, "i- is this too far?" she asked softly, i very quickly shook my head, "no, please dont stop" i murmered out, knowing a quick head shake was probably too little for her, she tucked hair behind my ear, "tell me what you want baby" she whispered nicely, completely opposite to her harsh voice calling me a brat a few minutes ago, "go down on me please ellie, o- or anything- just touch me" i whinned, her look turned back to her confident smirk, she licked her lips looking down at me before she sunk back down and pressed her tongue to my wet folds, gliding it up, she put her tongue back in her mouth letting herself taste me, "mmhm, shit you taste good" she rolled her eyes, leaning her head back a bit and i swear to god i could have came right there.

ellie brought her head back down letting her tongue glid against me some more, my breathy moans filling the room as she pushed her tongue deep into me, my hand gripped the bedsheets, i wrapped my legs around ellie trying to get her closer

"harder.." i whispered my hand finding its way to ellies hair, she complied, moving her tongue faster and deeper, "more ellie.. please" i moaned, ellie slipped one of her fingers into me, moving along with her tongue, "mmfph" i moaned, rolling my head back onto the pillow, mumbling nonsense, i couldn't help but rock my hips, grinding onto her face, moving against her tongue and finger, she began to move her faster, suddenly adding another finger, i gripped her hair harder, ellie moaned against me, vibrating my core, causing me to grind even harder and squeeze her hair harder, anytime i tugged ellies hair i would feel her moan against me, so i made sure to keep on tugging

as i felt myself get higher, i couldnt even get words out, only high pitched squeels, i felt myself tighten and right as i poured out, ellie pulled out, licking my dripping cunt clean, i was out of breath, still trying to get over the orgasm,

"all fours" she licked her lips, i did what she said, finding the strength to flip myself over, and sit on my knees and hands, back arched and ass in the air, on full display for the girl behind me.

"shit.. look at you, you'd do anything for me, wouldnt you?" she growled, "anything.." i moaned, ellies fingers slammed back into me, making my eyes roll back, arching somehow more

"cant believe you were gonna go and fuck jason.." ellie growled form behind me, fingers slamming deeper, "such a fucking slut.." she whispered, i then felt a sudden sharp pain on my ass, i moaned at the pain and at her fingers curling, "you like that?" i could hear her smirk, she smacked me again, i tried to hold my moan back to not satisfy her, but it was near impossible, "jason couldnt make you feel like this, could he?"ellie questioned, adjusting my legs for me to get her fingers deeper in me, pumping her fingers deeper and faster, at a very hard paste, i tried to answer but her fingers were a bit distracting

"i asked you a fucking question!" she smacked me again, "who the fuck do you belong to?" she yelled, "ellie! i belong to ellie" i moaned loudly, feeling my stomach come to a not, "such a good girl" ellie grunted, i felt myself freeze and could feel myself dripping down my leg, ellie contuined, overstimulating me, making my legs shake and tremble

she came to a stop, i could feel her warm fingers collect all my juices that had fallen, i let myself collapse onto my back, i made eye contact with her as she sucked onto her fingers with a smirk, "you really do taste good princess"

[kiefbowl]

Everytime I say to myself "im bisexual" i get this sense of deep guilt, and i just feel like crying flor some reason.

I know im not straight and i know im not a lesbian so the only logical conclusion is that I'm bi but i just dont feel like I am? I also dont feel like I'm allowed to have these feelings of struggle because i see people online say women are prtending to be bi for queer points so i feel like I'm overreacting you know.

Everytime I think of myself being in a relationship with a woman i feel a deep sense of shame.

I feel guilty like im a monster you know. I grew up in a homophobic country and only moved out like 3 years ago so i think maybe thats why ? Idk im just lost. I see people online just like being super happy about being lgb and im like why am I struggling? Im not supposed to feel this way. I feel like a fraud.

I was outed, kind of, I mean I wanst even sure i was bi but she told everyone and like my friends started behaving differently towards me and idk I just well first of all why did she tell people?? I didnt even know if i was into women i just wanst sure i wanted to make sense of it first i felt exposed in a way(dont worry my uni was chill so no physical harm or anyhting like thta)

Like that was my thing!! It was my fukcing thing and you don't get to tell people about it . Why did she do that. I know its not a big deal but now like if you ask me if im out i would say no ? Like no one knows im bi here in this new country.

Im rambling.

I have never said the word "im bisexual" out loud like ever

I'm going to give you permission about something you haven't specifically asked for, but in my wisdom I'm going to grant you this permission:

You don't have to know.

It's okay! You've moved, you're young, you're getting away from homophobia and finding new kinds of homophobia...that's too much stress, just stop worrying about it. So you don't know today, who cares? You'll figure it out. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in 50 years.

If it's causing you this amount of stress, and if all the voices of all these people in your head causing you doubt, then you aren't allowing yourself to discover by simply living. You're becoming a police officer in you head, and you're navel gazing as a form of punishment, and let me tell you, even if you were straight as ruler that wouldn't help you find love and fulfillment.

You're sexual orientation is something natural within you. So whatever feels natural, that's the truth of the matter. If you are trying to attack this as a thinking problem that needs solving, you just won't get there. Go out and party, go out and enjoy people's company, go set life goals and focus on them...and one day when you're not thinking about it you will meet someone you can't deny is the most lovely, beautiful person in the whole world and all you want to do is kiss them. And then you'll know.

This is about no one else but you. This is your sexual orientation, this is your life, and you don't need a peanut gallery weighing in. Fire your shitty friends if you have to. If people ask, you can say "I'm figuring it out" or even flat out say "that's none of your f*cking business." Or, if you want to be funny, pretend you have a very selective hearing problem.

Prioritize the things that you know are fulfilling you right now, and all the stuff you don't know yet will come back around in due time. This is true of love as it's true of everything else we obsess about. You don't have to know everything about yourself to be a good person.

Good luck, sis. Have fun smooching cuties, studying seriously, and enjoying the sun.